Teen suicide. The worst sort of death for any parent. As if there are good ones? Maybe just ones where we can say, “it was an illness or an accident.” These deaths may make the story have some sort of ending. A closure of sorts, though grief and the loss will be there as waves lapping our heart shores. It is very hard to find closure or understanding about a child taking their life. And it is likely, as parents, that we will spend time blaming ourselves. I imagine the guilt can be overwhelming for many parents. Beyond the guilt and blame though, is just a huge amount of grief.
Someone in my child’s school decided this was an option last week. So much pain. His and everyone else left behind. How do we feel, think, live through this with ourselves and our children?
I am grateful to the work being done by Forefront at the University of Washington in both suicide prevention and after-care.
Our young people face so many pressures these days, and though there is more talk and acknowledgement among them about stress, and anxiety, some people still hide their thoughts about suicide; they hide their pain. Many teenagers think about suicide, it’s not unusual. But if you hear someone talking about it, take it seriously. Listen to what they are saying. We lose two youths to suicide every WEEK, in Washington state.
There have been programmatic presentations about suicide at our child’s school this year. They were helpful in the “how to observe who may be having suicidal thoughts.” They even suggest possible prevention and intervention methods. Though clearly, we can’t always know or prevent them, I feel that the more information we have about how to talk to teens, or anyone we think might be exhibiting “calls for help” (often called warning signs), the better.
Here are some things to look for.
Please contact someone if you know, or suspect someone needs help.
Deborah Dombrowski says
Suzanne,
Such an important and heartbreaking topic. I’m so sorry for the loss in your community. ASSIST is another great program for suicide prevention. Thanks for getting some ideas/and tools out there for parents, friends and educators.
take care,
Deborah
Suzanne says
Deborah,
Thank you for taking the time to respond and give me more information. As you know, it’s heartbreaking.
Samantha Wilkins says
Hello Suzanne,
I am a friend of Mary Bond’s and I work for the Society for Prevention of Teen Suicide. While based in New Jersey we are a national organization who among other things offers a free training on our website sptsuniversity.org (free of cost) if you’d like to learn more about this topic. Also, I highly recommend Bev Cobain’s book “When Nothing Matters Anymore” for both you and your child who is coping with the loss of a friend. My deepest condolences – your community is in my thoughts.
Suzanne says
Thank you for responding Samantha. I really appreciate more resources and will pass them on here. I will also suggest this book to our school counselor. Many thanks for your important work too.